I was watching A FOOTBALL LIFE the other night on the NFL network. I love that show, it’s the NFL version of ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentaries. I was fortunate enough to have spent three seasons as a backup quarterback in the NFL so I got a glimpse of the behind the scenes realities of being a pro. I saw up close the greatness and sheer talent of players like Lawrence Taylor, John Elway and even Michael Jordan and James worthy as college class mates at UNC. I love the games as much as anybody, but I especially enjoy the behind the scenes shows that tell the rest of the story about the lives of so many of my heroes, like Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Don Shula, Gale Sayers, and Dick Butkus. So much of what we see, and what the media wants us to see; is hype, flash and marketing. Its hard to tell what is real sometimes and what is hype.
I saw the show on the great Roger Staubach, "Captain Comeback", and "Captain America". Heisman trophy winner at Navy, Super Bowl winner and Hall of Famer. He was the all American guy if there ever was one. I loved every minute of the recap of his life and career and I have the utmost respect for Roger not only as an iconic quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, but also because he started and grew a hugely successful company "The Staubach Company" in the field of commercial real estate, which is a field that I worked in for 30 years after my football career ended. He is a devout Catholic with 5 children and a great ambassador for philanthropy and a Christian way of life.
I would like to meet Roger someday, and somehow spend some time with him, although that is highly unlikely, it would be an honor. Toward the end of the program, they showed Roger playing flag football with the media guys in the new Cowboys stadium. Then they cut to interviews of the reporters and Troy Aikman talking about Roger and what they all said really struck me; "Roger is still so competitive! He does everything he can to win every game, every time, even today."
I thought about the feeling I had as I was watching the end of the Staubach documentary and there was something that troubled me but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until a few days later. Then I figured it out. What troubled me was this; it seemed like the man was allowing a competitive spirit to sneak out of him and in his life past the time when it was appropriate and necessary. The skills that made him the greatest Dallas Cowboy of all time, the icon, were things that aren’t necessary in touch football or pickup basketball games. And while all those interviewed were laughing as they commented on the man’s ultra-competitive nature, I think there was an element of surprise that the fire that drove him to greatness at 35 was still lit and fueled at 65. The question is why use it today if it isn’t still appropriate and necessary.
I don’t want to be that way in my life. But so many athletes, and I speak from personal experience, don’t know how to turn it off, or turn it into something else, or put it away or let it go. I know I didn’t for almost 20 years after the NFL told me I wasn’t good enough to play anymore back in 1987. So I used my ability to bring a disproportionate dose of competitiveness and drive and "I will show you" moxie to every Saturday morning basketball game, 3 on 3 basketball tournament, and old guy flag football game that I played in until I was 40 something. Nobody showed me how to do anything different, although I wished they had. Everyone, including myself, marveled at how competitive I was and how I drove friends and teammates to win every competition at almost any cost. Wow, it makes sense looking back, but holy smokes, its not the way I would want to be if I had known better.
I guess the tools and skills that brought us success in the early seasons of our life are not always meant to be the same ones that we carry and use on a daily basis in the later seasons in our life. Maybe that is what I am just figuring out. A wonderful friend of mine gave me a t-shirt once that read "the way you do anything is the way you do everything." I was flattered. It was a mantra that seemed to make sense.
But now I am not sure it does. Or maybe it is true, with one exception. The way we love is different than anything else we do. And the way we love is the most important. It took a long time, but I think I get that now. And I pray that with each year I am alive, that I can love better than anything else I have ever done in my lifetime.
Amen and AMEN.