This summer I had the privilege and unequaled joy of walking my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. Last August I escorted my oldest Sarah down the isle to her husband, Will, in Blowing Rock, NC and this June I walked Shelby down the steps of Forest theater, the outdoor amphitheater in Chapel Hill to her husband, Seth.
I cried both times. Tears on my cheeks and tears on my heart. My little girls, now grown, gorgeous women; happily married, partnered, and loved by strong men of God. I felt of sense of thanksgiving, of a job well done, although I cant take a lot of credit because the truth is that as a father, I know I have put some wounds and scars on my daughters that I am so sorry for and wish I could take back. But, God has redeemed all of that between this father and his girls, and the joy I felt on their wedding days was overwhelming.
It wasn’t the same, but it was similar in magnitude to the day they were each born. That first moment of holding those tiny beings in my arms and giant man hands, smiling at them through blurry eyes, my salty tears dripping on their cheeks as they bobbled their heads looking up at this strange face just inches from their eyes. That love was so intense and so special. And I felt it again on their wedding day. I remember saying in my toast to Sarah and Will that they should always "LBR.” That was an acronym I had tried to teach my children when they were little. I gave them each fancy silver bracelets with a charm that was engraved LBR. "I LOVE you, I RESPECT you and I BELIEVE in you." LBR: Love, Believe, Respect. And I reminded the newlyweds to always LBR, and I added two additional letters, AF. Appreciate and Forgive.
This summer, when I had the microphone to toast Shelby and Seth, I told them something a little different. I said "the three most important postures you should find yourself in most often are love, grace and prayer. And if you find yourself out of sorts, its probably because you are not in one of those postures, so take a deep breath, and get back into the right one."
I liked that wisdom. I try to live it with my wife Kate in our house as well. I found that our children are more influenced by our behavior than they are our words.
I don’t know what its like to see a son get married, and hope I don’t know for a few years, as Shawn will be 20 this fall and has a lot of life and times and adventure ahead of him before that season in his life. But I can tell you this, the joy for a parent to know their daughter has found true love with a Godly man is a joy that is as deep as the miracle of birth itself. And I am so thankful that I was around to experience that with my first two little girls.
Sometimes when I get a little discouraged with bad days battling leukemia, Kate reminds me that I have two more daughters, Jordan and Ella, ages 4 and 5, and I need to be around to walk them down the isle as well. So, that’s my plan and my prayer. To experience that day of joy so deep my heart weeps.
Amen and AMEN.