I love my wife and I have no doubt she loves me. That being said, there are some things that we just have to agree to disagree about; one of them is driving. I don’t know when it happened, but I have become a very slow and cautious driver these past couple years. I used to call these kind of drivers “Mr. and Mrs. Fossil” when I was behind them on a one lane road and they were going annoyingly slow (but looking back, probably the speed limit). My smaller kiddos say I drive like a grandpa, which is interesting because they don’t have a grandpa alive to compare my driving too, or perhaps I am subconsciously filling that role in their lives... who knows.
I believe this “grandpa labeling” is linked to another recent event. The other day I was in the mall and a couple of shoppers were behind me as we rode the escalator to go to the upper level. For a moment I thought there may have been a fire, or that someone was chasing them as they bumped and pushed to get by me on the escalator. They reached the top level approximately 3 seconds before I did and scurried around the corner to the shoe store where the only rational explanation was that someone was giving away free shoes or something. What could cause such a hurry I thought to myself? Then another event later in the year, almost in déjà vu manner, I found myself riding the moving walkway in the airport. I was to the right side standing still, simply enjoying the effortless trip between gate C-10 and C-25 when it felt like I was on the Audubon or something as a dozen travelers briskly walked by me, jostling myself and others with their luggage as they passed by. Perhaps they were late to their gate I thought, and I said a prayer that they would not miss their plane. The funny thing was that I noticed several of them were on the same flight as I was, all of us waiting at the gate, as our departure wasn’t for another hour.
What is everyone’s hurry? I spent a few days questioning why it seemed the world was going so fast, or was it that I was going so slowly? What is the appropriate pace I wondered? What is the appropriate pace of life? It seemed more global than just the airport or the highway or the mall. It seems to be frenzied everywhere, by everyone.
Maybe I have in fact become Mr. Fossil, a grandpa without the grandchildren, as I adopt the much slower pace of a man with cancer, slowed by fatigue and chemotherapy each day. Perhaps I am the one who has slowed down disproportionately to the world. Whatever the case, it has become clear to me that we all have a certain pace that we live at, and it is hard to change that pace from moment to moment or environment to environment. But we all need to FIND OUR PACE in life. If we go fast and are frenzied in one area of life, it is usually evident in most everything we do. Even when the need to slow down is evident, often we find ourselves unable to hit the brakes.
I have recently realized that I want to live in a way where I control my pace. When I do that, I like to go slower because I find that this pace of life allows me to smile more, see more, share more and have more joy the slower I go. This has proven true whether it is in the airport, on the highway, at the mall or around my house. I have found that if I start sooner, leave for appointments earlier, designate more time for tasks and keep my lists shorter each day, I am enabled to live at a slower pace, and with more grace, compared to when I leave at the last minute and try to accomplish more tasks than time would normally permit. I now know that I am without a doubt a better husband, better father, friend and colleague in life when I set my place to slow.
So I challenge you to stop and ask yourself, “What is my pace?” I hope you can find the pace that keeps you safe and brings you the deepest joy for the rest of your days. And I bet it’s a notch or two slower than you think.
Amen and AMEN.