One of my golfing buddies told me once, “Don’t ever talk politics or religion, they only lead to arguments.” I have found that to be true too often and it is disappointing. It seems like one of our collective problems as Americans is that we do not dialogue well, which includes both speaking and listening.
I recently watched an interview of a national pollster/ focus group moderator and he described our current paradigm as a society that isn’t very interested in the other person’s point of view. We do not gather and share information well to help educate and discern one’s position on a given issue. But rather, we assemble in groups that end up yelling at each other in an attempt to convey a message; “you are going to listen to me and I am going to tell you the way it is and the way it should be!’” The video of the moderator’s 20-person focus group on 60 Minutes was a perfect illustration, people were shouting, cutting each other off, pointing fingers. It was embarrassing and I saw the same type of scene play out on panels of our most watched news stations and even in the Presidential debates.
To be honest with you, growing up, and even in recent years, I had never appreciated the depth of emotion that politics can invoke. Couple strong emotions with complex issues, multiple opposing points of views, and it’s a perfect recipe for an ugly exchange or worse, seen even among friends and family members. I do know that good listening is a learned skill, takes a lot of practice, experience and patience. The older I get, the more work I realize my listening skills need!
Fortunately, a close friend and colleague of mine dialogues well. He is a successful business owner, philanthropist, husband, and father of whom I lean on as a source for evenhanded description of the issues our state and country face. He has the skill I admire; where he can outline an issue and narrate the pros and cons and logic of the opposing positions, and then share his personal point of view without force. This allows room for me to have differing thoughts of my own. I most enjoy asking him questions and listening as he thoughtfully responds with respect and insight. Our relationship is coming up on 20 years and our experiences together run the gamut from life to death, money and debt, winning and losing, success and failure. I so enjoy our talks. They feed, inform and grow me. I do not think we voted for the same candidates, but that is of no consequence between us.
I wish we all had someone like this in our lives, someone who has the skills to help us see our differences and then respectfully discuss them, moving us toward an eventual collaboration. If you do not have a friend or colleague like this, I encourage you to find someone for dialogue. It’s a tremendous blessing in life, and I am sure that NOT talking about politics or religion is NOT the answer that will keep our country strong in the future. Not only must we dialogue, but we must learn to do it well because a lot is at stake.
A woman I work with said it best when she shared, "I know I am safe when I can share a differing point of view with my hands open instead of clenching my fists and when I can say, 'I don’t know' without worry that I might be shamed. It is in these kinds of talks that I have room to be afraid for our country, and I also have room to hope in One Nation Under God."
I think she says it perfectly!
And finally, for me, at the end of the day, every day, I know one thing for sure: GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE in eternity no matter the social, political, religious or economic environments that my 6 children, and their children will be handed in the coming decades. Humanity has been through some tough stuff, and our current situation is not too big for God. So may we all keep the faith and come together in meaningful dialogue toward making these United States a great country for all Americans.
Amen and amen.