Recently I was enjoying a long weekend at the beach with Kate and the Kiddos. It was cold, like 32 degrees, and my friends asked me "Why go to the beach without the sun?" I chuckled and said "Hey, the ocean is still there in all its grandeur, sounds and smells even in the winter!" I used to associate the joy of the beach only with jumping waves and laying on the beach in bathing suits, but as I have gotten older, I have learned that there is joy year round where the land meets the sea.
While there this trip, we set up a "nest" of pillows and blankets on the floor and all five of us snuggled in for a family movie night. We watched Matt Damon in “We Bought A Zoo’, which ended up being a tear jerker about a man and his 7 and 13 year old children who had just lost their mother to cancer and were having trouble adjusting. The wife's name was Katie and son's name was Dylan all of which hit a little too close to home for me as tears rolled down my cheeks several times during the show.
Anyway, we had a wonderful family time, although my son Leo had a hard time sitting still for 90 minutes of a movie that didn’t have any superhero action exchange, but we all managed. I wrestled him a bit off to the side of our nest during a scene with the animals and that seemed to be a good outlet for some of his pent up energy. I can see myself in that little man so much sometimes its eerie, and I want to father him well, directing his energy and spirit, showing him how to manage his fidgety curiosity instead of just spending entire days yelling “no” and “ stop” , “why did you do that?’ or "PLEASE, son, think before you act!"...etc I need to emphasize the positive and keep the ratio of my words balanced and not just instructional and demanding. I pray God gives me strength for the challenge my little man represents!
The next day it was time to head back to reality at home to Durham, as the kids had school and I had doctors appointments. Mornings have been especially difficult for me lately to get up and get going. Its just part of the “new normal”, so we just adjust every day. This morning I was on the couch, mildly incapacitated and just watching the process that was underway to get our family on track for the day, which included getting dressed, breakfast, each kiddo with their own iPad and show, washing of pajamas, stripping of beds, cleaning out of cupboards of all our food and family items as we turn the house over to guests that have signed up to stay at the house through several charities we support in our community.
I marvel at my wife at times like these. In fact, I even asked her if she had taken a course in logistics or project management or home and travel supply chain management? It is truly amazing what a mom does to coordinate her tribe just in the every day activities of normal life. Wake ups, dressings, feedings, cleanups, homework, snacks, notes, car rides, groceries, bills, mail, kids pickup, after school activities, potty breaks, wash, dinner, homework, bath, bedtime routine, snuggles and story time and other assorted negotiations until the eventual sea of slumber overtakes our kiddos.
WOW! And sometimes my wife accomplishes all of those tasks by herself and without a single word of adult interaction if I am out of town, engaged in a project or simply incapacitated in the back bed room. She is an amazing woman day to day and with all due respect to both my mom and my mother in law, I must say that she is the BEST MOM I have ever seen! Our kids are so lucky to have her. And so am I!
And I realized how many great moms out there do the same thing day in and day out, and sometimes even more, when you talk about single moms and working moms who do the same thing and more.
God bless my wife, and God bless every mom out there who does such amazing things in the course of every single day.
Amen and AMEN