Every year I write a forward-looking “life plan” for the coming calendar year in which I try to narrate and document specific actionable items to do, accomplish or emphasize throughout the year. The idea actually began as an offshoot of an annual business plan, a template for income and commission sales I expected in that year. It was amazing to me how in depth I could get with business relationships, specifying how often I would entertain clients by playing golf or hosting events or taking them to lunch or sending them small gifts and generally just trying to stay visible so when they had a real estate question or need, I would be the person they called.
One year in the early 1990’s, I began to sense that while business was thriving, other areas of my life were not. The old verse in Matthew was being played out: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. I planned more for romancing the CFO at IBM than I did my own wife. I spent more money and time pursuing the COO of Glaxo than I did my own children. Thankfully The Lord tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what’s wrong with this picture? It didn’t take long to figure it out. If my business life benefited from such a detailed plan, how much could my personal life do the same?
There have been a few nuances to my planning that have helped me greatly, one being the order of my narrative. The earliest plans usually started with business deals, then money, and then my recreational hopes. I usually had to tag on a paragraph about my marriage and my faith at the end of a later draft. Again, The Lord graciously tapped me on the shoulder and asked me the same question. His point was powerful: order matters! Prioritize your life and let your plan reflect your priorities. So from that year on, my life plans begin with reflections on my faith, then my wife and children, other family members and friends, and then finance, work, and recreation.
Some years the plan was 30 some pages, other years it was shorter, but I always made myself do one. Another tip was to actually pull the plan out during the year and read it to check my progress against what I said I was going to do. That would result in a pat on the back or a shrug and commitment to do better when I realized I had not taken my wife to the movies or I hadn’t read any new books or taken my daughters on a date, all things I had intended to do per my plan. Often the plans would ultimately get titled because as life has it, one word or phrase often ruminated and eventually identified itself as a motto or theme for the year that was appropriate. Words and phrases like Intentionality and Forward Focus or Whatever It Takes and Appreciation graced the cover page of my life plans.
However, I have a confession to make: there are no 2014, 2015 or 2016 titled plans on file because they were never done. In my defense, I’ll say, my excuse is pretty legitimate: leukemia. For the past three years since my diagnosis, I have been focused on doing whatever necessary to stay alive from season to season. That has been enough of a titled life plan. It sounds rather dramatic as I type all this, but it is my reason for not writing a plan since 2013. My life plan was to stay around, period.
The good news is I am still here, and a 2017 plan is completed with the title Don’t Flinch. In 2016 we rode a chemotherapy drug the entire year until November when it began to show signs of losing its effectiveness. We tried to modify the dosage and supplement it with another type of drug and steroids, but after ten weeks, the results were less than we hoped for. So now, early in 2017, we have started a new drug that has shown signs of having tremendous ability to reduce the presence and activity of my rare type of leukemia. My family and I are very hopeful. But the new drug has required two stints in the hospital over the past month and has had some new side effects that have been challenging.
I have to admit that there were moments lying alone in the hospital bed, in pain and discomfort, that I worried for my long-term prognosis and questioned my mortality. I have usually been able to dismiss these moments the last few years with faith and hope, but as we have moved from treatment to treatment, I began to worry, if and when the options run out, then what?
Well, when those times come, my advice to myself is don’t flinch. When the unknown and mystery knocks on the door or times get tough and physically rough, buckle down and don’t flinch. No matter what! That’s my motto for 2017. The truth is I hope I don’t need to use that affirmation, but in case I do, all I have to do is pull out my life plan and there on the cover are the words I need: DON’T FLINCH.
This year I encourage you to spend a few moments to reflect on your plan going forward, the relationships that matter most, and what a motto might be for you. It’s a fun, productive and useful exercise.
Amen and AMEN.